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Post Info TOPIC: God's responses to letters from dogs


Senior Member

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Posts: 359
Date:
God's responses to letters from dogs



Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell


one another? Where are their priorities?


Dear Dog, That was my intention. If they did smell one another, all


human families would have a litter of 12 to 18 kids.


*


Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it


the same old story?


Dear Dog, No dear friend. Feel free to eat the couch.


*


Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar,


the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but


not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?


We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own


model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler


Beagle!


Dear Dog, You've never heard of Greyhound Bus, or seen the hood


ornament of a Mack truck?


*


Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human


hears him, is he still a bad dog?


Dear Dog, No. It is the human who is bad for not coming to see why it


is you are barking.


*


Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-


ramps?


Dear Dog, No, that is a rumor the cats started. The tables have 3


inch legs.


*


Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good, or bad?


Dear Dog, It depends on how you treat your dog.


*


Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.


Dear Dog, Would you like some Italians with that?


*


Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands


to get in?


Dear Dog, Yes. (But don't tell the humans - it's the secret way in.)


*


Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand


signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,


electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do


humans understand?


Dear Dog, Not much.


*


Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have


been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever


hear back is the schnauzer across the street!


Dear dog, I have given every populated world its own dog equivalent.


The lead species of each needs your love and devotion.


*


Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to


apologize?


Dear dog, No. Humans have their sports, mailmen are yours.


*


Dear God, Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because


we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets


thing again?


Dear dog, No. It's just because not all of you dogs live in Great


Britain.


*


Dear God, May I have my testicles back?


Dear dog, Yes. I often wonder if I shouldn't have left them off most


humans.



__________________
The next time you feel like complaining.... Remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30% of people in this world.


The Omnipotent One

Status: Offline
Posts: 2696
Date:

And of course, dog is an anagram of God. What they should have asked was if cats are allowed in heaven.

__________________
Rick's Psycho Ward
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