Movie Critics R Us

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

RE: Movie Critics R Us

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Rio Bravo (1959)

Texas border sheriff John T. Chance (John Wayne) fights off ruthless mercenary gunmen headed by Nathan Burdette (John Russell), in order to keep a murderer, Joe Burdette (Claude Akins), in custody, and is assisted by a ragtag band of volunteers including a drunk, Dude Borachon (Dean Martin), and an elderly crippled man, Stumpy (Walter Brennan). Howard Hawks was in peak form in delivering this western classic which is vintage John Wayne, but the contributions of the other cast members cannot be denied, who seem to have been encouraged to improvise some of their dialogue. It stretches out the film somewhat, but suspense and tension remains throughout its duration, interspersed with some welcome good humour, even a couple of tunes from Martin and Ricky Nelson, who plays Colorado Ryan. Angie Dickinson is another welcome addition as Feathers. A superb against the odds, good versus evil tale.

Park (2006)

In an L.A. park, during one lunch hour, ten people, in five vehicles, learn a little more about life and a whole lot about themselves. Among them are Dennis (William Baldwin), Claire (Cheri Oteri) and Peggy (Ricki Lake). This one is not too bad for a comedy with a decidedly B-list cast All the situations presented are rather ridiculous, and connected in differing degrees, but we are not expected to take it seriously. It never really rises above mildly amusing, with nothing I would consider outright funny to make itself stand out, but is not so bad as to draw derisive comments, so I grant it a middling review.

This Beautiful City (2007)

After Carol (Caroline Cave) jumps from her condo balcony in an attempted suicide, the lives of several people are affected in various ways. They include Pretty (Kristen Booth), Johnny (Aaron Poole), Harry (Noam Jenkins), Zoe (Kat Germain) and Peter (Stuart Hughes). Jumping from a balcony would be preferable to spending any more time watching these miserable people leading their mundane lives.

I-See-You.com (2006)

Harvey Bellinger (Beau Bridges) blows up his family home and later recalls the circumstances that led to his crime, such as his step-son Colby (Mathew Botuchis), encouraged by his girlfriend Randi Sommers (Shiri Appleby), wiring the entire family home with cameras and posting it on the internet, embarrassing Harvey, his wife Lydia Ann Layton (Rosanna Arquette) and Harvey's daughter Audrey (Baelyn Neff) in the process. This was a pretty decent comedy which plays off the thirst our pathetic society has acquired for reality shows. The sad thing is that by comparison, the events here do not seem as ludicrous as they should. But I liked the cast here and what they did with the given material, which is nothing all that original, but it had its moments.

Linewatch (2008)

Border-patrol agent Michael Dixon (Cuba Gooding, Jr.), a former gang member, is forced protect his family from an enterprising gang leader, his former home-boy, Drake (Omari Hardwick). Although slow at times, this is better than most of the recent projects Gooding has been involved with, and he does not overact as sometimes appears prone to do. He plays a man determined to redeem himself from past, so I can overlook any arguments looking to dismiss the plot as politically correct nonsense. However, there is another twist that seemed unnecessary as a plot device that is typical Hollywood b.s. And as far as excitement goes, there could have been more.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

The Death And Life Of Bobby Z (2007)

Marked for death by a biker gang, ex-marine convict Tim Kearney (Paul Walker) gets a chance to walk out of jail alive when scheming DEA agent Tad Gruzsa (Laurence Fishburne) needs him to impersonate recently deceased druglord Bobby Z, and discovers that Tim is a dead ringer. Unfortunately, taking on Bobby Z's name also means taking on his bloodthirsty enemies. Caught in the crossfire, Tim runs for his life as he tries to find a way out of this deadly masquerade. It is a good thing that this action flick does not purport to take itself seriously because the goings on are more than a bit ridiculous. Walker looks every bit an actor trying to pass himself off as an ex-marine, that is if you can call what he does acting with a straight face. That is not to say that this one lacks appeal to fans of the genre if they are in the mood for a modest action thriller with an anti-hero in a struggle to get out of a pickle against all odds. Just be forewarned that it was a direct to DVD release.

Surf School (2006)

A group of high school senior outcasts including Jordan (Corey Sevier), Mo (Sisqo) and Doris (Laura Bell Bundy) decides to compete against the cool surfer dudes from their school at the High school Surfing Championship in Costa Rica. They enrol in a surf school run by a couple of burn-outs, Boris (Taylor Negron) and Tillie (Diane Delano), where Rip Stevens (Harland Williams) serves as an instructor. All the jokes fall with a thud here. This is about as bad as comedies get. Harland was allowed to ad-lib at will, and the results are not good. Here is a movie with a premise, but no substance with which to execute it.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

The Lazarus Project (2008)

Paroled ex-convict Ben Garvey (Paul Walker) jeopardizes his second chance with his wife Lisa (Piper Perabo) and daughter Katie (Brooklynn Proulx) when he strays back into a life of crime after losing his job, facing death by lethal injection, but it turns out that he is part of a new experiment, and there is a new beginning in store for him. Conceptually, this is a pretty good movie, but it is pretty unrealistic. What government would give prisoners deserving of execution second chances without any retributive justice whatsoever? Well, probably Canada's...but I digress. Walker remains in mopey mode throughout, maybe flashing two grins, displaying the extent of his acting range. My main problem with the movie was my inability to muster up any sympathy for his character, who seemed to be neither remorseful or willing to admit culpability for his actions, instead feeling he should be entitled to freedom to pursue his previous lifestyle. This would have worked better had he been an innocent man wrongfully accused.

The Poet (2007)

In German occupied Poland at the dawn of World War II, Oscar Koenig (Jonathan Scarfe), a young German officer, and Rachel (Nina Dobrey), the daughter of a Rabbi, fall in love. Forced apart by violent village massacres, their love endures despite her marriage to another man, Bernard (Zachary Bennett). Mediocre melodrama. Their story did not move me. The character I felt sorry for was Bernard, who displayed far more character and scruples than Rachel, who was ready to ditch him after Oscar whispers a few sweet nothings in her ear. Oscar and Rachel barely knew each other, and the slaughter of of loved ones barely seemed to affect her compared to the forbidden love that weighed on her heart. Millions of Jews were slaughtered. Surely there were many true love stories among them that deserve telling rather than this contrived drivel.

Yun Hota Toh Kya Hota: What If...? (2006, subtitled)

The lives of stock broker Salim Rajabali (Irrfan Khan), newlywed Tilottama Das (Konkona Sen Sharma), Rahul Bhide (Ankur Khanna) and showman Rajubhai Patel ( Paresh Rawal) are thrown into disarray as they encounter unforeseen circumstances when they try to visit the USA. I thought this was a pretty entertaining movie, with its focus on people from different walks of life, seeking to improve their lot in it, without possibly knowing what was in store for them. And viewers may pick up a sense of foreboding throughout, yet that does not diminish the impact it provides.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Freeze Frame (2004)

Having been accused of horrendous murders ten years earlier, Sean Veil (Lee Evans), a now acutely paranoid suspect, keeps a twenty four hour video record of his life as an alibi. Psychologist and forensic profiler Saul Seger (Ian McNiece), Detective Louis Emeric (Sean McGinley), Detective Mountjoy (Colin Salmon) and reporter Katie Carter (Rachael Stirling) are among those who fuel his persecution complex. Out of the Emerald Isle came this little gem of a film which I had never heard of, so it surprised me just how clever and enjoyable it was. If he were alive today, I could see Hitchcock making a film like this, and the atmosphere and suspense presented here is not unlike a good Hitchcock film. Veil is perfect for the role of the somewhat creepy Evans, and through his performance viewers can believe years of paranoia and isolation have taken their toll. The other characters also have an edge to them that fits in here. The plot demands close attention, and there are numerous twists that may defy belief, but this one gets a high approval rating from me for its ingenuity.

Noise (2007)

David Owen (Tim Robbins) is a resident of New York City who finds the noise pollution driving him to increasingly irrational behaviour, until finally he becomes an anti-noise vigilante, endearing him to the local populace, but alienating his wife Helen (Bridget Moynahan), the Mayor Schneer (William Hurt), and the police. There is a certain amount of dark humour in much of the delivery, but it is more than a bit preachy, driving points home relentlessly, a tactic that begins to wear out its welcome after the plot loses steam. It will surely play better to urban rather than rural audiences.

Betrayed (2003)

The water supply the tiny community of Bullman, Ontario becomes contaminated by e-coli bacteria from cattle farms due to sloppy work by public works manager Doug Bryce (Michael Hogan) and his attempts to cover it up. At the same time his daughter Judy (Kari Matchett) has returned home, securing a job working in the soon to be overwhelmed local hospital. This TV movie will be recognized by Canadian viewers as similar to the tragic events that devastated the town of Walkerton, Ontario in 2000. It suffers from focusing too much on Kari, and too little other town residents. Nothing more than a bland precautionary tale.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Tortured (2008)

Deep undercover in a brutal criminal organization, FBI agent Kevin Cole (Cole Hauser) must use extreme methods to prove himself. Ordered by the mysterious crime boss Ziggy to track down stolen millions, Cole gets to work torturing the mob's accountant, Archie Green (Laurence Fishburne), and his behaviour begins to cause strain in his relationship with Becky (Emmanuelle Chriqui). Writer/director Nolan Lebovitz would have been better served to pass the director hat to someone else for this one because this could have been a very good movie if it was not so disjointed. At times it is unnecessarily difficult to follow because the plot elements required to get the just of it had yet to be revealed. And there is no method to this madness. The cast is a strong one, and ultimately the story wins out despite the sabotaging from a directorial standpoint (or perhaps the editing), but this one should have been so much more.

Hell (2005, subtitled)

This is a story about three sisters who share a dark past: Sophie (Emmanuelle Beart) discovers her husband Pierre (Jacques Gamblin) is cheating; Céline (Karin Viard) is stalked by a stranger; and Anne (Marie Gillain) is hopelessly in love with middle-aged professor Frédéric (Jacques Perrin). Once again Danis Tanovic flashes a flair for direction. His eye is the strong suit of this haunting drama. The pace is measured at the beginning as the stories of the sisters gradually unfold, and each actress is effective in drawing out the personal hell each sister endures. They are estranged, so the stories do not connect directly until the latter stages. The view the film holds towards men is an unflattering one, and its women may come across as fragile, but this is a fine drama, well constructed, and rewarding for those with a tolerance for the very films France is often ridiculed for making, often dismissed as too arty.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Send A Bullet (2007, documentary, subtitled)

An examination of corruption and class warfare in Brazil as told through the stories of a wealthy businessman, a plastic surgeon, a former kidnapping victim, a policeman who combats kidnapping, a man who runs an armoured car business and a corrupt politician whose income relies on laundering money through a frog farm. This documentary is stylishly shot and contains peculiarly upbeat accompanying music. But at the heart of it is a fascinating expose of the dark underbelly of Sao Paulo, revealing a side of Brazil that their Chamber of Commerce would not dare. It is educational and makes one appreciate many facets of everyday life that we often take for granted.

Flight Of The Living Dead (2007)

A genetically engineered virus is released onboard a transatlantic flight to Paris turning the plane into an incubator for a quickly growing army of the undead. With a zombie invasion spreading through the cabin, Truman (David Chisum) and Megan (Kristen Kerr) are among a handful of passengers remaining to fight off the undead travelers and land the plane before it is too late. I think the positives outweigh the negatives for this satire of the zombie genre. It is breezy fun with an attractive cast and decent effects, with some gore, although nothing of the scary nature. It should have had funnier material though and is a far cry from Shaun of the Dead, but it makes a nice bookend with Snakes on a Plane, similar in theme and entertainment value.

Affinity (2008)

Margaret Prior (Anna Madelay) is a heartbroken upper class woman who becomes a frequent visitor at Millbank Prison, hoping to escape her troubles and be a guiding figure in the lives of female prisoners, and finds herself fascinated by Selina Dawes (Zoe Tapper), a medium. This is a period drama adapted from a novel by Sarah Waters filled with rather grim settings. It combines a lesbian romance with elements of the supernatural, but the staid acting combined with the atmosphere keeps the viewer at a distance, thus causing the kicker of an ending to lose some effectiveness.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

The Happening (2008)

Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg) is an ordinary man trying to save his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel), and Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez), the young daughter of a friend, from a terrifying invisible killer. As Elliot begins to discover the true nature of what is occurring, it soon becomes possible that no one and nowhere is safe. I am now convinced that writer/director M. Night Shyamalan peaked with The Sixth Sense and he has been careening downhill since. Here, Wahlberg is awful, set adrift in a sea of aimless dialogue, and all non-speaking characters behave like lemmings. The plot began as promising as long as it could later be explained by anything other than the lame-brained theory presented here. This is a B-movie disguised as a movie event, as Shyamalan tends to think of his films. Lately though they have become unintentionally funny. The man has long ago shot his wad as a major Hollywood player.

Fool's Gold (2008)

Estranged due to the single-minded pursuit of her treasure-hunting husband Benjamin Finnegan (Matthew McConaughey), Tess (Kate Hudson) takes a job on the yacht of billionaire Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland), only to be followed by Benjamin, whose rough charms convince the magnate to take up the hunt. McConaughey and Hudson teamed up for some modicum of success before, but could not catch lightning in a bottle this time around. Chemistry between them never surfaces, and McConaughey appears only interested in opportunities to allow him to take off his shirt and flex his abs. You would not know that Hudson is the daughter of Goldie Hawn from watching this performance. And the plot contrivances staged to allow for staged action sequences come across as staged as they are. The aim may have been gold, but the end product is pyrite.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Alone With Her (2006)

A surveillance video system chronicles the day-to-day life of Amy (Ana Claudia Talancon) and her growing relationship with her stalker, Doug (Colin Hanks). Hanks gives off a convincingly subtle creepy vibe, just enough to raise possible red flags, yet not enough to set off alarms. He looks the part of the guy girls would prefer to have as just a friend. Talancon was a great casting choice as the sexy girl next door type, appreciative of the things Doug does for her, and not wanting to hurt him. The voyeuristic view provided by much of the camera work is effective, and this low budget offering puts more sensationalistic, melodramatic, star driven stalker films to shame. There is no need of red herring scares, atmospheric suspense music or subplots, although the eighty minute run time is too short

Fred Claus (2007)

Santa's brother Fred Claus (Vince Vaughn) flirts with a life of crime while the saintly old Nicholas (Paul Giamatti) decides whether bailing him out of jail and bringing him to the North Pole is a good idea or a disaster waiting to happen. Straddling the middle line between naughty and nice ultimately gets this movie nowhere. Parts may not be deemed appropriate for younger audiences, and the underlying message delivered falls a far cry short of the impact left by holiday staples. Vaughn can only carry the film so far with his fast talking schtick, although there are a few sequences that are very damned funny.

Desperate Escape (2009)

Taken to the hospital unconscious, Brooke (Elizabeth Rohm) wakes up with amnesia, unsure if the man who claims to be her fiance, Michael Coleman (Michael Shanks), is really who he claims to be. Contrived made for television fluff that I do not think really explained the frantic opening sequence. The amnesia as a plot device has been done to death anyway, and the way Brooke behaves when her memories do return defies belief.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

The Foot Fist Way (2006)

Amateur Tae Kwon Do instructor Fred Simmons (Danny McBride) finds his seemingly perfect life collapsing when he discovers his wife Suzie (Mary Jane Bostic) having an affair on him. Twice. He senses a chance for redemption by battling his hero, the eight-time undefeated champ and star of the "Seven Rings of Pain" trilogy, Chuck "The Truck" Wallace (Ben Best). If you enjoy Will Ferrell movies, you might enjoy this one. If not, you likely will not. The type of humour and deadpan delivery are exactly the same, but the production values are lower, and the central joke spread thin.

Bunny Whipped (2007)

Bob Whipple (Estaban Powell) escapes his mundane day-to-day existence with nightly tours as The Whip, a masked crusader with no powers who is out to avenge the death of white rapper Cracker Jack (Fred Maske) and help his former high school flame, Ann (Joey Lauren Adams), save endangered rabbits. He believes rapper Kenny Kent (Laz Alonso) is behind the murder and is intent on exposing him. Who greenlighted this project and did Joey Lauren Adams lose a bet to have to appear in this? Just about everything falls flat and shot off the cuff and without direction.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Grey Gardens (2009)

Former debutantes Big Edie (Jessica Lange) and Little Edie Bouvier Beale (Drew Barrymore) see their wealth and contact with the outside world diminish as they struggle to hold onto their Long Island summer home. This HBO film is most notable for the two fantastic performances, one of which will surely be rewarded with an Emmy. But just about every other aspect of the movie is commendable, from the sets, to the direction, to the costumes, to the make-up. The story of the eccentric relatives of Jackie O is interesting due to its bizarre nature. It was earlier chronicled in a celebrated documentary, and is brought to life anew in grand style here.

The Girl Next Door (2007)

Based on the best-selling novel by Jack Ketchum, this film deals with a fictionalized account of the 1965 true story of the brutal torture and abuse suffered by Sylvia Likens in the basement of the Indiana home of the Baniszewski family. Only in this story it is Meg Loughlin (Blythe Auffarth) and her sister Susan (Madeline Taylor) who find themselves in the care of their aunt, Ruth Chandler (Blythe Baker), whose cruel punishments eventually took their fatal toll. So despite the similarities, for a more true to life account you would be better off watching the made for television An American Crime starring Catherine Keener and Ellen Page. This one is disturbing and the tendency would be to dismiss this as exploitative and overly sensationalistic unless you were aware of the real story. Fortunately the camera does not focus on all the atrocities suffered. Baker is memorable in her role as a monster, never going over the top, while Auffarth exudes an innocence that makes the suffering endured that much more heartbreaking. Not a horror film, but a horrifying one.

Deception (2008)

Shy accountant Jonathan McQuarry (Ewan McGregor) is introduced to a mysterious, sex-dating club known as The List by his new lawyer friend Wyatt Bose (Hugh Jackman). He becomes fascinated by this new lifestyle, but he soon becomes the prime suspect in the disappearance of a woman known to him only as S (Michelle Williams) and a multi-million dollar heist. The heist is supposed to be extremely clever, but it is unnecessarily over-compliclated and rifled with holes. There would have been much simpler means to the end, and certainly more sure-fire. Even the twists do not come off as surprising. The cast is above this material, which is of the direct to video nature at best.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Goodbye Bafana (2007)

James Gregory (Joseph Fiennes) worked as a guard in a high security South African prison and his job called for censoring all written and verbal communications between prisoners, their visitors, and correspondents, including that of Nelson Mandela (Dennis Haysbert). What he observes causes him to reassess his beliefs, but not without ramifications for himself, his wife Gloria (Diane Kruger), and family. This is an interesting story that covers about a quarter of a century, and it is well acted, but does little to evoke an emotional response. It is interesting for the insight it provides, laying bare the cultural divide that existed due to the predomination existent during the Apartheid era, and revealing glimpses as to why Mandela is so beloved to this day.

My Mom's New Boyfriend (2008)

FBI Field Agent Henry Durand (Colin Hanks) has a problem when his mother Marty (Meg Ryan) begins dating Tommy Lucero (Antonio Banderas), the FBI's number one suspect in an international art theft ring, and his job calls for surveillance of his activities. I am sure the premise sounded funny when this movie was pitched, but the story here is brain dead. Ryan acts plain goofy, Banderas mumbles out lame lines when he isn't mugging for the camera, and Hanks does his best impersonation of his father when he was making some classic comedies. Only this one is anything but a classic.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

The Cottage (2008)

Forced into hiding after their kidnapping plan goes awry, two rival siblings, David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith), find themselves fighting for their sanity while they hole up in a secluded country cottage. Weighed down by a hostage, Tracey (Jennifer Ellison), who refuses to stay quiet or tied down, they are soon held captive by their own victim. Everyone's problems go from bad to worse when they come face-to-face with their psychotic axe-wielding farmer neighbour (David Legeno). This British dark comedy/horror gets the blend just right, making this romp a guilty pleasure. The very ineptitude of the criminals is amusing, and the sassy edge provided by Ellison is amusing. Things really begin to get fun once the carnage begins.

The Cellar Door (2007)

Rudy (Michelle Tomlinson) finds herself imprisoned in a wooden cell in the basement of a serial killer named Herman (James DuMont). She has only her wits to defend herself against his murderous insanity in what becomes a taut game of cat and mouse. This one held up pretty well for the initial two-thirds, with suspense and a creepy vibe. Unfortunately it jumped the rails at the end when all the characters appeared to lose their minds simultaneously in order to serve up a finale which is pretty much a cliche.

Altered (2006)

Fifteen years after an abduction from which one of their friends did not return, Cody (Paul McCarthy-Boyington), Duke (Brad William Henke) and Otis (Michael Williams) capture an alien and take it to the home of Wyatt (Adam Kaufman) and his girlfriend Hope (Catherine Mangan). They spend the night in a remote country cabin where the man vs. alien combat begins. This is a pretty good follow up from the director of The Blair Witch Project, Eduardo Sanchez. Once again there is pretty good bang for the buck considering the minimal budget. The alien proves to be a menacing and formidable full, and when these poor rednecks are not trying to match wits with it, they are infighting amongst themselves, thus providing many taut moments. There are a couple of lulls, and the acting leaves much to be desired, but its originality offsets any negatives as far as I am concerned.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Fatal Contact (2006, subtitled)

Kong Ko (Jackie Wu) is a Kung Fu Olympian recruited to compete on Hong Kong's most dangerous underground fighting circuit. As the stakes rise, he develops into an unstoppable fighting machine, built to destroy everything in his path, but winning his freedom from the deadly criminal underworld may prove to me a bigger challenge. Few watch movies like this one looking for intricate storylines or great acting. What they want to see is well executed fight scenes, and therein lies the selling point of this one. Wu is the real deal, proves to be exciting to watch, and moves like a highly flexible whirling dervish. And the tragic story presented here ultimately is rather affecting, even if rather formulaic.

Journey To The Center Of The Earth (2008)

Professor Trevor Anderson (Brendan Fraser) is a geologist struggling to keep his research funded who discovers a box of his missing brother's possessions, sending him and his nephew Sean (Josh Hutcherson) to Iceland where circumstances force them miles below the earth's surface accompanied by Hannah Asgiersson (Anita Briem) as a guide. I am sure this one proves fun for those who catch it armed with 3-D glasses, but unfortunately I had none at my disposal. Without the benefit of gimmicks, this is nothing more than a cheesy looking, corny Disney-fied kids movie, no better than previous, lower budget versions of the same outlandish story.

The Jane Austen Book Club

(2007)
Sylvia Avila (Amy Brenneman), Bernadette (Kathy Baker), Jocelyn (Maria Bello), Sylvia's daughter Allegra (Maggie Grace), Prudie Drummond (Emily Blunt) and Grigg Harris (Hugh Dancy) are the six book club members who discover in dissecting six Austen books, poignant similarities in their own lives. This plays out as highly contrived hogwash, with far too many coincidences in the relationships of these people and occurrences in the novels. The quality cast is the main selling point, and the story will appeal more to women than men, unless you can find men like the ones in the universe this movie was filmed in, emasculated as they become.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Kung Fu Panda (2008, animated)

As he studies alongside his idols, the legendary Furious Five: Tigress (voice of Angelina Jolie), Crane (voice of David Cross), Mantis (voice of Seth Rogan), Viper (voice of Lucy Liu) and Monkey (voice of Jackie Chan), under the leadership of their guru, Master Shifu (voice of Dustin Hoffman), Po the Panda (voice of Jack Black) is unwittingly chosen to be the Dragon Warrior, the only creature capable of battling the deadly snow leopard Tai Lung (voice of Ian McShane) who plots revenge against all inhabitants of Peace Valley. This cartoon feature from Dreamworks looks sharp, has solid voice acting and remains entertaining for the duration. It is often funny, but I wouldn’t say it belongs in the company of the best Pixar has to offer. Kids of all ages should be captivated, and adults should be able to watch along without longing to be elsewhere.

Welcome To Sajjanpur (2008, subtitled)

Mahadev Kuswah (Shreyas Talpade) is one of the few educated young men from Sajjanpur. His ambition is to be a novelist but he finds it easier to make a living by writing letters sitting next to the post office. His ability to write persuasive letters makes him popular with the largely non-literate population of the town. Aware of this power, he soon uses his talent to manipulate people with amusing and sometimes not such amusing results. This comedy from India does not bridge the cultural divide as well as some of the other offerings from that country. The story is basic and easily followed, but it is more bemusing than funny, and longer than it deserves to be, partly to a few unremarkable song montages.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Sorry, Haters (2005)

Phoebe (Robin Wright Penn) befriends Muslim cab driver Abdel Kechiche (Abdellatif Kechiche) and endeavours to help his family with accusations of terrorists links, but it turns out appearances can be deceiving. This one caught me off guard on a couple of occasions, and is of the nature that reviews will be mixed, but a chilling performance from Wright Penn tips the scales in its favour in my opinion. At the very least, this movie provokes conversation about the post 9/11 state of affairs.

Teddy Bear (2008)

Ben Corisky (David Sparrow) is a seemingly normal, likable guy. He is charming, funny, and a good listener. He visits his son Sammy (Luke Murdoch) and pays his child support to his ex-wife Vera (Tracey Hway) when he can. But Ben is also a serial killer searching for answers into what makes him tick. This was apparently released for a television channel, likely a cable one in Canada, but I am unsure whether or not Superchannel was its first home. And as TV movies go, this is a winner. Sparrow is convincing in his portrayal of a madman with a rather detached demeanour. The story is believable too. It is not a suspense thriller, serving more as a character study as Corsky reminisces through flashbacks. I thought it was very well done for an independent production.

Now You Know (2002)

Just before getting married, Jeremy (Jeremy Sisto) and Kerri (Rashida Jones) split up and chat with their friends about love issues. Written, directed and featuring Jeff Anderson (Randal of Clerks fame), the Kevin Smith influence is evident throughout this one, and if you liked that picture, chances are you will enjoy this one. I know I did.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Ripple Effect (2007)

Fashion designer Amer Atrash (Philippe Caland) sets out to make amends with Philip (Forest Whitaker), a man he made a paraplegic as the result of a tragic accident fifteen years ago. He finds the man has made the best of his life when he takes Amer on a spiritual journey to enlightenment. Virginia Madsen and Minnie Driver shine in supporting roles as their respective spouses. But Caland appears out of his league amidst this group and his direction leaves much to be desired. Too much time is wasted on his character as he wallows in misery, and he seems to remain unmoved by the insights he receives. The optimism of Philip raises skepticism in me now that I know all the details, but the reaction the character played by Driver has after a certain revelation seemed to ring authentic. It would have been more interesting to see how things progressed from that point rather than put up with the insufferable Amer for so long.

Night Passage (1957)

The workers on the railroad haven't been paid their salaries in months because Whitey (Dan Duryea) and his brutal gang, including the Utica Kid (Audie Murphy), keep holding up the train that travels with the payroll. Grant McLaine (James Stewart), a former railroad employee who was fired some time before, is recruited to take the payroll and make sure that it reaches its destination, which leads to Grant and the Kid meeting again to settle an old score. This is a pretty basic, straight forward western that essentially borrowed ideas from ones that came before it. You cannot go wrong with Stewart and Murphy on board. Stewart even gets to cut loose on the accordion a few times. Things move briskly along in predictable fashion and it is over without suffering any lulls. Not bad, nothing special.

Tere Naam (2003, musical, subtitled)

Radhe Mohan (Salman Khan) is a young lower class man who falls in love with Nirjala Bharadwaj (Bhoomika Chawla), an upper caste girl who is already promised to Rameshwar (Ravi Kishan). When the young man is beaten about the head, he awakens in a mental institution, unable to remember his past. This was a tragedy in more ways than one. Khan is too old to play a college student, and Chawla is not much of an actress. Khan plays it over the top at that and the film borders on melodrama. There were no sparks between them, and Radhe was psychotic-a western girl would have slapped a restraining order on him rather than fall madly in love. The movie was too long even before Radhe was institutionalized and there were too many songs that added little to the development of it, and with too many repetitive lyrics.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Relative Strangers (2006)

Before he marries his fiancee, Ellen Minnola (Neve Campbell), Dr. Richard Clayton (Ron Livingston), embarks on a quest to find his biological parents, Agnes (Kathy Bates) and Frank Menure (Danny DeVito), but discovers they are not what he envisioned. Despite the rare funny quip, the bulk of this film is cringe inducing awful. The promising looking cast is lost without sufficient material, and the Livingston character is not one to warm up to or wish a happy ending upon anyway.

The Hamster Cage (2005)

The dirty laundry of a dysfunctional family is laid bare when siblings Lucy (Jillian Fargey) and Paul (Tom Sholte) come home for a family dinner only to find that Uncle Stan (Scott Hylands) has brought with him a barely legal fiance named Candy (Carly Pope) and inappropriate gifts for everyone. This is a rather unsettling dark comedy in which no topic is apparently taboo. The family is highly dysfunctional, with themes ranging from incest to pedophilia being no strangers to them. The elitist characters are mean-spirited and highly despicable. I would not be surprised if slack-jawed was a typical audience response to this film, because shock value seems to be its main selling point.

Transylvania (2006, subtitled)

Zingarina (Asia Argento) has become pregnant by her lover Milan Agustin (Marco Castoldi), a musician. When he leaves her without a word she traces him to Transylvania. Along with her companions Marie (Amira Casar) and translator Luminitsa (Alexandra Beaujard) they set off on their romantic quest. This is a rather strange cinematic odyssey, with cinematography, the Romanian gypsy culture and accompanying music being the driving forces. It is a road movie and a love story, revealing much of the human condition. It is not the type of film mainstream audiences embrace, but it ultimately is a life affirming slice of life drama made as a labour of love.

Offside (2006, subtitled)

In a country where women aren't even allowed to enter sports stadiums, a group of young Iranian girls dress as boys to try to sneak into Tehran's Azadi Stadium to watch an important soccer match. This is not a sports film, nor is is a political protest film, although the central issue involving equal rights does hit home. Instead, this is surprisingly accessible even to western audiences, with embraceable characters and an understated wry wit. A film like this, given a chance, could go a long way towards bridging the cultural abyss between westerners and residents of Muslim decent in the Middle East, because we are more alike than may be readily apparent.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Flashbacks Of A Fool (2008)

Joe Scott (Harry Eden, Daniel Craig) is a washed-up Hollywood star whose hedonistic lifestyle has taken its toll. Flashing back to his childhood and a small-town English seaside life, his rites of passage as a young man lay the foundations for the Hollywood dream he goes on to experience. Called home at the request of his mother Grace (Olivia Williams) upon the death of a childhood friend, he finally faces up to the ghosts of his past. Here is the case where a solid foundation and promising story is let down due to a lack of a payoff once it becomes evident that the long journey has been for not. We basically learn how Joe got from point A to point B, but upon reflection it appears he is none the wiser for it. Still, the film has a lot going for it with strong direction and acting, just do not expect to see much of Craig once the reminiscing begins.

New Police Story (2004, dubbed)

Senior Inspector Chan Kwok-Wing (Jackie Chan) is an aging, drunken cop who is made responsible for the deaths of other officers by a sadistic youth gang, and is compelled towards turning his life around. Chan went back to play a more serious role, but the end product is borderline unintentional comedy. The villains and their crime spree are hard to take seriously, the acting is not good, and the dubbing simply awful. Even the stunts and fight sequences for the most part are far from vintage Chan.

The Take (2007)

Felix De La Pena (John Leguizamo) is an armored car driver struggling to make ends meet for his wife Marina (Rosie Perez) and their two kids, Rosey (Jessica Steinbaum) and Javy (Taylor Gray), in East L.A. Their lives are thrown into chaos after Felix miraculously survives a violent on the job hijacking. Now facing a difficult recovery and struggling with a nasty new temper, Felix becomes obsessed with tracking down Adell Baldwin (Tyrese Gibson) and the other attackers before they frame him for the crimes they committed. This one works best when the focus is on the relationships, but works less as a suspense thriller. It is not quite the vigilante film I was expecting, and I was not entirely satisfied with the way events unfolded, leaving me a bit confused on a couple matters. I also felt that some of the camera work was sloppy. In the end I can only lament the unfulfilled potential exhibited here.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Welcome To The Jungle (2007)

Mandi (Sandy Gardiner), Colby (Callard Harris), Mikey (Nick Richey) and Bijou (Veronica Sywak) are four peers who head to the jungles of New Guinea searching for Michael Rockefeller, heir to the Rockefeller fortune and subject of international intrigue since his disappearance in 1961, but instead stumble upon a tribe of cannibals and must struggle for survival. The concept here is taken from The Blair Witch Project and the chances are if you liked that one, you will get some enjoyment out of this one. Mind you, the characters here are incredibly daft and somewhat annoying, and their quest may seem ill-advised to downright imbecilic. The odds of finding Rockefeller, or of him even still being alive seemed remote, and the dangers confronted and warnings occurred would seemingly give pause to anyone but these people to continue their undertaking. They barely knew each other and one of them was an obvious loose cannon and a red flag for trouble. The trouble is, it is tough to muster up sympathy for these idiots, and the movie is very short at just over eighty minutes.

Lower Learning (2008)

At Geraldine Ferraro Elementary, the teachers are either drunk, lazy or psychotic. Every child has been left behind, and burned-out Vice Principal Tom Willoman (Jason Biggs) is barely holding on. But when district inspector Rebecca Seabrook (Eva Longoria Parker) arrives to shut down the school, she and Tom hatch a plan to take back the classrooms from corrupt Principal Harper Billings (Rob Corddry). The cast here is good and there are some funny things, but as a whole, this is nothing but a middling comedy. It is too thin and could have been better with sharper material to enhance what did work.

Stars In My Crown (1950)

Josiah Doziah Gray (Joel McCrea) is a preacher who moves to a rural Southern community, developing friends and family over time, but also provoking the ire of the town doctor, Daniel Kalbert Harris, Sr. (Lewis Stone), and greedy mine owner Lon Backett (Ed Begley). This is a touching film of the variety they just do not make anymore. At its heart are strong moral values and a depiction of an America that used to thrive, stressing the importance of family, faith and community, yet it does not shy away from more controversial matters. The wholesome characters are well-drawn, and not overly hokey. A simple delight.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Do You Like Hitchcock? (2005, dubbed)

Giulio (Elio Germano) is a film buff with a penchant for voyeurism. Sasha (Elisabetta Rocchetti) catches his eye in an apartment across the street, and after her mother is murdered, he becomes obsessed with crime, to the chagrin of his girlfriend Arianna (Cristina Brondo). What sets his imagination in motion is a meeting he witnessed in a video store between Sasha and another customer named Federica (Chiara Conti). The movie is rife with references to Hitchcock films such as Strangers On A Train, but the plot mostly mimics Rear Window. It takes a lot of chutzpah to brazenly challenge for comparisons, but this homage to the masterful director manages to stand on its own merit as a quality film which is very entertaining. Even staunch Hitchcock fans should be able to enjoy this imitation.

Sukiyaki Western Django (2007)

Rival gangs in feudal Japan battle it out Western style when a quick-handed gunman (Hideaki Ito) thunders into town to settle their dispute over a fortune in gold. An homage to spaghetti westerns, but set in Japan with a traditional samurai story, this is high on style, with a very pleasing aesthetic look, but the events that transpire are flat out bonkers. Cult director Takashi Miike is obviously a student of film who is having a blast in this labour of love, but the result is a confusing mess and an experiment I can only classify as a failure. Stick it in the novelty category, theatre of the bizarre parody, and a mishmash of genres that will best be appreciated by diehard samurai film lovers.

Skinwalkers (2006)

Rachel Talbot (Rhona Mitra) and her twelve-year-old half-breed boy Timothy (Matthew Knight) become the targets of warring werewolf packs, each with different intentions and motives. Led by Varek (Jason Behr), Zo (Kim Coates) and Sonja (Natassia Malthe), they will stop at nothing to claim Timothy to preserve their way of life. Ridiculous story aside, this is not an entirely bad werewolf movie as far as direct to video offerings go. It contributes a good amount of action and suspense, but its main sin is the ending, which pretty much nullifies the sense of urgency viewers were led to believe was necessary for survival. A definite head scratcher.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Saawariya (2007, musical, subtitled)

Destiny weaves its magical spell when a shy musician, Raj (Ranbir Kapoor), encounters a beautiful young prostitute, Gulab (Rani Mukherjee), in a prelude to a story she narrates about four unforgettable nights filled with music, passion and romance. However, Raj thinks he is in love with Sakina (Sonam Kapoor) who yearns for her absent lover, Imaan (Salman Kahn). Based on the short story White Nights by Dostoyevsky, this Bollywood/Hollywood co-production is notable for its strong visual appeal. The sets look great and the first rate lighting and cinematography combined with strong musical numbers to make this one a winner. In those regards the film resembles Moulin Rouge. Ranbir is a promising screen presence who helps hold the film together. As Bollywood movies tend to be, it is long, and it is somewhat of a sappy romance story, but the demographic such films are intended for should be pleased.

Living Death (2006)

Elizabeth Harris (Kristy Swanson) is the wife of a sadistic man, Victor (Greg Bryk). She conspires with Roman Arbogast (Josh Peace), his lawyer, to kill him, but the drug they use only paralyzes him and he comes back from the dead for revenge. The beginning here is promising, providing some tense and squeamish moments, but than it blandly plods along until the latter stages when a couple other interesting predicaments arise. Then it regresses again with a rather disappointing conclusion. It does not help that none of the integral characters are likable. Not worth a rental, but passable late night cable fare.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Blue Seduction (2009)

Mikey Taylor (Billy Zane) is a music composer who finds himself trapped in the seductive web of a young, sexy vocalist named Matty (Estella Warren), who is looking for her own fifteen seconds of fame. I am not sure what was more distracting, the collagen enhanced lips of Warren and her poor lip synching or Zane's wig. At one point the pair were supposed to be collaborating on a song at a piano, but what we hear is a finished recording. And the acting was bad, with even Zane turning in an awful performance. This was made for television and it pretty much shows.

National Lampoon's Jake's Booty Call (2003, animated)

Jake (voice of Julian Max Metter) is a reputed ladies man who tries to help young prince Siton Manaba (voice of Jay Lerner) get laid before his 21st birthday. Raunchy and stooping for cheap laughs, I can only see this appealing to the Beavis and Butthead or Pauly Shore crowds. The animation is decent, but the sophomoric humour got old pretty quickly, with there being too much to sustain a feature length cartoon.

National Lampoon's Homo Erectus (2007)

Determined to single-handedly advance the human race, Ishbo (Adam Rifkin) continually irritates his fellow Neanderthals with what they consider to be ridiculous inventions. The rest of his tribe, including his exasperated parents, write off his absurd gizmos and forward thinking ideas as the ravings of an idiot, something that does not help his efforts to impress the beautiful Fardart (Ali Larter), the cave girl he loves from afar. This one did have some amusing ideas, just not enough to be consistently funny. Rifkin lack the appeal and the comic flourish to drive a movie, and the few star cameo appearances are wasted by not giving them much to work with. Needs to evolve.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Prairie Fever (2008)

An alcoholic former sheriff, Preston Biggs (Kevin Sorbo), accepts an assignment to transport Abigail (Dominique Swain), Lettie (Jillian Armenante) and Blue (Felicia Day), supposedly crazy but actually abused women across the prairie and put them on board a train for back east, with some help from a sharpshooter named Olivia (Jamie Anne Allman) who they encounter on the way. This is more like a western lite due to some hints of comedy. It is impossible to take seriously after seeing the women transform from states of insanity to normalcy in quick order. Sorbo is not convincing as an alcoholic. Neither is Allman as a sharpshooter or confidence woman. Even the sets and costumes do not come across as authentic, and the same can be said of the whole story.

No Man's Land: The Rise Of Reeker (2008)

Sheriff McAllister (Robert Pine) and his son Deputy Harris McAllister (Michael Muhney) confront casino robbers, only to find that all of them are being endangered by something unnatural known as Reeker (Ben Gunther). The main problem I had with this one was an apparent lack of cohesion in a sort of alternate realm the story unfolds in. A kicker of a twist almost justifies it but there are still too many unexplained elements. The Reeker character is underutilized as a threatening presence too. There was unfulfilled promise here.

Last Wedding (2001)

Noah (Benjamin Ratner) and Zipporah (Frida Betrani) are a Vancouver couple who decide to tie the knot but receive little encouragement from couples Sarah (Molly Parker) and Shane (Vincent Gale) and Leslie (Nancy Sivak) and Peter (Tom Scholte), whose own relationships are slowly dissolving. This is hardly a ringing endorsement for relationships, but a sense of reality exists in all of them. The script is a good one and the actors rise to the occasion, Betrini in particular, who displays a nice flair for comedy. Ratner and the always dependable Parker also stand out. The wry, dark humour carries the day, delivered subtly, but impacting hard.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Savage Grace (2007)

Based on the true account of a brutal murder, this is the story of Barbara Daly Baekeland (Julianne Moore), who married Brooks Baekeland (Stephen Dillane), into the riches of the Baekeland fortune. The child of their union, Tony (Eddie Redmayne), increasingly grew to hate her psychological control and abuse. The characters are all pretty much despicable, and the film slow at times. I did not think much of Redmayne as an actor, but the saving grace here is Moore, who is pretty much money in the bank if you want to see quality acting. Also, if the dynamic of dysfunctional families intrigues you, you will love this family. There is good reason the Baekelands never won any parent of the year awards.

Thrilla In Manilla (2008, documentary)

Joe Frazier tells his side of what happened in the events leading up to and including his infamous third and final bout with Muhammad Ali in the Philippines in 1975. We also hear from members of both camps, although Ali declined to be interviewed here himself. This is a treat for boxing fans, providing a chance to reminisce of a time when boxing was still king. Anyone who remembers their epic battles probably will hold some interest, and seeing how they affected Frazier even to this day is pretty sad. Ali may be beloved, but his behaviour comes off as reprehensible. Those too young to remember may want to watch just to see what all the fuss was about.

The Wedding Party (2005, dubbed)

Bad blood escalates between inn owner Franz Berger (Uwe Ochsenknecht) and overbearing bully, Hermann Walzer (Armin Rohde), who is hosting a family wedding at the inn. It leads to Berger taking the bride and her mother hostage when Walzer refuses to pay for the wedding. Talk about your nightmare weddings! This one is fun because it gets totally out of control. Of course it also defies belief. The dubbing job is not going to fool anyone, but it makes this accessible to those who abhor subtitles. The refusal of both Franz and Herman to give in drives the film, and I am sure many people can relate, having dealt with people like them before.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Diggers (2006)

Set in 1976, Hunt (Paul Rudd), Frankie Lozo (Ken Marino), Jack (Ron Eldard) and Cons (Josh Hamilton) are a group of east coast fishermen struggling to make a living collecting clams after a major corporation claims most of the fishing grounds for themselves. This is a solid slice of life drama depicting blue collar workers portrayed by quality actors, including Maura Tierney and Lauren Ambrose. It is highly character driven without too much of a plot, and it seems to capture the spirit of 1970's Long Island knowingly.

Live Free Or Die (2006)

Bumbling hustler John 'Rugged' Rudgate (Aaron Stanford) returns to his hometown and tries to build a reputation as a notorious criminal. It is amusing that his bark is consistently louder than his bite, and this was entertaining to an extent. I really liked the premise, only in execution there just seemed to be not enough material to carry it out through to the conclusion.

Copperhead (2008)

When the infamous gunslinger 'Wild' Bill Longley (Brad Johnson) arrives in the rough and rowdy mining town of Magdalena, New Mexico, he discovers his old friend was murdered by a ruthless outlaw gang that has camped out in the town and has been terrorizing its residents. Even worse, a mine explosion sets a bunch of poisonous copperhead snakes loose upon the town. Director Todor Chapkanov borrowed many a trick from classic westerns to film this one, which has an impressive look for a made for television movie. The snakes were clearly CGI creations though, and the plot was loopy. And then it got loopier still near the end, entering the realm of the ridiculous. But a couple funny death scenes almost made the whole thing worthwhile, kind of making it a guilty pleasure. Snakes on a plain anyone?

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005, animated)

Former mercenary Cloud Strife (voice of Steve Burton) and the other Final Fantasy VII characters have to save the planet from destruction due to the spread of the geostigma disease. Those who enjoy science fiction and fans of the video games need only apply for this one. Not having played the games myself, I cannot say the story was laid out or the characters introduced well enough for the uninitiated. And although I loved the look and detail of the graphics for the most part, I felt the action sequences left something to be desired, not rising much above video game quality. Movies based on video games always seem to disappoint for the most part.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Funny Money (2006)

Henry Perkins (Chevy Chase)is an accountant who accidentally finds five million dollars, triggering a chaotic night of dodging the suspicions of the police and the Eastern European mobsters who are after the money. This is a good old screwball comedy of the variety they do not make much anymore. The dialogue and happenings are often fast and furious, and Chase, Penelope Ann Miller, Armand Assante and the rest of the cast rise to the occasion.

August (2008)

August centers on Tom (Josh Hartnett) and Joshua Sterling (Adam Scott), two brothers fighting to keep their start-up company afloat on Wall Street during August 2001, a month before the 9/11 terrorist attacks. This role plays to the strengths of Hartnett, an actor I have been generally hard on in the past. It suits him and he is the motor that propels this film, and luckily he has some intelligent dialogue to deliver, and tension cutting like a knife as the upstart dot com company struggles to stay afloat.

My Wife's Murder (2005, subtitled)

Ravi Patwardhan (Anil Kapoor) is on the run after his wife Sheela (Suchitra Krishnamoorthi) is murdered and police Inspector Tejpal Randhawa (Boman Irani) is assigned to investigate the case. This is a fine showcase for Kapoor and a quality crime drama out of India. The story is entirely plausible and rings authentic right through until the end.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

Casshern (2004, subtitled)

The Earth is in crisis and the future of mankind is at risk. Hope lies in the discovery of a geneticist named Dr. Kotaro Azuma (Akira Terao) of "Neo-Cell", which can rejuvenate the human body, but it is used by an evil corporation to create a race of mutants bent on the annihilation of humanity. His son, Tetsuya Azuma (Yusuke Iseya), may be the only hope for salvation. This is a futuristic Japanese sci-fi epic with an involved story and graphics that will not overwhelm anyone, but it is worthwhile for those within the target audience provided they invest their close attention. Some may find the nonlinear telling somewhat confusing at times, but I appreciated the imaginative story and the overall result.

Rockin' The House (2004)

Wesley Benfield (William Lee Scott) is a guitar playing car thief who is sentenced to a halfway house where he joins a band, and recruits Vernon (Lucas Black), an autistic savant piano player, to join them. Some of the language here may not be appropriate for younger viewers who may have otherwise enjoyed this. It is somewhat too lame at times to be taken seriously by adults. However, the blues numbers are surprisingly good. There should have been more.

Alien Agent (2007)

Saylon (Billy Zane), Isis (Amelia Cooke) and their group of aliens bent on conquering Earth face off with the lone defenders of the planet, Rykker (Mark Dacascos), an intergalactic warrior trapped on Earth and Julie (Emma Lahana), a young waitress. The effects are cheesy, the acting poor, and the story a rehash of things that have come before. Decidedly B movie fare.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

The Strangers (2008)

Kristen McKay (Liv Tyler) and James Hoyt (Scott Speedman) return to their secluded home after a wedding to discover the escalating horror of three masked strangers whose sadism and malevolence throws their lives into utter chaos. I was expecting this one to be awful from things I heard, and although it is somewhat flawed, I was pleased by its ability to sustain tension once the strangers arrived. The flaws? They seemed to be able to appear and disappear as ghosts, and had an uncanny ability to be in the right places at the right times. And they appeared to have no fear of their victims and how they might try to take initiative in defending themselves. And naturally, the victims reacted stupidly on a few occasions. But despite those faults, this was chilling horror at its best.

Them (2006, dubbed)

One evening a couple, Clementine (Olivia Bonamy) and Lucas (Michael Cohen), living in a peaceful farm house are awakened by strange noises and an odd phone call at the beginning of their night of terror. This French horror film is similar to The Strangers in plot, and also based on a true story. The most negative thing I can say about it is that it is woefully short. Otherwise, it is a low budget top flight suspense film that will keep you guessing, with a chilling ending with a final image that will send a chill down your spine.

Mail Order Bride (2008)

When her friend Jen (Katharine Isabelle) dies before moving out West to be the mail-order bride of rancher Tom Rourke (Greg Evigan), Diana McQueen (Daphne Zuniga) takes her place in order to escape from Boston mobster Aaron Carlyle (Ted Whittall), who owns her and keeps her involved in illegal activities that she does not want to do anymore. Made in Canada for the Hallmark channel, there is never a doubt this is anything other than a made for television movie, but as those go, this was one of the better ones I have seen. And it is not just a sappy romance thanks to the subplot involving the past Diana is escaping from.

Your Mommy Kills Animals (2007, documentary)

A look into the animal rights movement, which the FBI recently declared the number one domestic terrorist threat to the United States of America. This is fair and thought provoking, and must see viewing for those who blindly support certain organizations.

bawdy · The Omnipotent One

The White Dragon (2004, dubbed)

Black Phoenix/Little White Dragon (Cecilia Cheung) is a beautiful, young noblewoman who is very adept in the martial arts, and is sent by her lover, Tian Sheng (Lei Liu), a crown prince of the Imperial House, to capture a blind assassin, Chicken Feathers (Francis Ng), only to find herself falling in love with him instead. This one has a few fight scenes of the variety seen in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, but it is essentially a light comedy, and a great bit of fun at that. White Dragon is highly narcissistic, and a typical teen when great powers are bestowed upon her, and she has to learn some lessons the hard way from Chicken Feathers, who is oblivious to the fact that she represents a threat to him. A refreshing tongue in cheek martial arts/romance flick.

Danika (2006)

Danika Merrick (Marisa Tomei) is an over-protective mom plagued by visions of death and despair, leaving everyone around her to question whether or not the visions are just hallucinations or premonitions. This is a psychological thriller with a good performance from the dependable Tomei, but the twist that comes as a way of explanation for her visions ultimately made me feel cheated for reasons I cannot go in to without spoiling things too much. I just felt manipulated and misled by everything that preceded it.

Picture This (2008)

Mandie Gilbert (Ashley Tisdale) will see her social status dramatically improve when she lands a date to the biggest party of the year with the hottest guy at her school, Drew Patterson (Robbie Arnell), only she must get out of the grounding imposed on her by her father Tom (Kevin Pollak) and make it to the big party. Here is a lightweight teen comedy that may even wear thin on the teenage girl target audience. It is just too full of contrived situations that defy belief, and there are just too many, much better options in this genre to waste time on this one.

The Unquiet (2008)

Blackstone Penitentiary is the now condemned women's prison, historically known for its dark and twisted past. Blackstone is said to be haunted by an evil spirit that has violently tormented the staff and inmates over its thirty year history. Now, two teams have set out to investigate Blackstone. For two days and nights, the team of 'believers', led by popular television psychic Christina (Julia Anderson ), who seeks to prove that the penitentiary is inhabited by spirits, and the team of 'skeptics', led by Julie Biship (Cara Buono), who seeks to provide scientific explanations for these occurrences in order to dispel the notion of ghostly inhabitants. This Lifetime channel horror film barely registers as horror for its lack of any real sense of danger other than a couple of characters getting fevers. The premise is actually pretty good and there surely were more effective ways it could have been carried out. More likely to put you to sleep than have you on the edge of your seat.