These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
1. Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .
4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one.
6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of?
7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) A: No, WE don't stink.
12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK) A: You are an American politician, right?
14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on Bristish Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving.
16. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
17. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.
18. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
19. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
20. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
It's way too hot to even think about ski-doos. An OPP cruiser hit one of those big horses with horns last night. Killed the driver instantly. You should see what's left of the cruiser.
A friend of mine had a brother guiding German tourists. They wanted to approach and pet a moose in the wild. Try that and it will likely be the last thing you do!
That's terrible about the driver...my pal Alaskan Patriot (he's around TBQ often) hit a moose on the way to Sturgis last year. I was finally going to get to meet him...and he hit a moose and had to miss the rally. Messed up the truck pretty bad, but the bikes were on the trailer and those were ok. I can only imagine a moose, I've seen more than enough deer damage for a lifetime and those hits can be horrible.
No Bawdy, he's not going for work reasons and we've gone the last two years and .... while we had a BLAST, it's a long trip for us and also VERY expensive, especially with the gas prices like they are, so we are skipping it this year. We are looking at next year with some friends from town and Doc is saying he may be there next year too. I look forward to the day of meeting him and his lovely wife, someday!
Krissy, that is one of the more local rally's we looked at going to, but didn't pan out. I hope he does well with his shirts there. Looks like a good one as far as attendance goes, so I bet he does! He should have some good stories for you when he gets home LOL!
bawdy wrote: 20. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
When I was a kid, we went to Canada for a vacation. My parents wanted to travel 'off the beaten path' & we ended up eating chicken most of the time, because that was the only thing we could make them understand!!!
__________________
Do you really think Mr. Rodgers would have wanted us for neighbors?
Well, take some pictures of these custom t-shirts and upload them so we can see, Krissy. I never heard of a Sturgis in Tennessee.
MM, Sturgis will be there every year. I'm sure you'll meet AP some day. You're right about gas prices though. Insane.
Rusty, where exactly is off the beaten path in Canada? Quebec? heh. Chicken is poulet in French. Or were you dining on Arctic chickens you got from the Inuit? Maybe they served you whale blubber instead!
bawdy wrote: Rusty, where exactly is off the beaten path in Canada? Quebec? heh. Chicken is poulet in French. Or were you dining on Arctic chickens you got from the Inuit? Maybe they served you whale blubber instead!
I was only 8 yrs. old, but I remember we did visit Quebec during our trip. Hey, I never said that my parents were the brightest bulbs on the tree! I ended up taking 2 yrs. of French in HS, but I don't remember much of that either!!!
__________________
Do you really think Mr. Rodgers would have wanted us for neighbors?
I visited Quebec as a kid as well and it was foreign to me too! I took french all through grade school plus four years of high school and have probably retained about as much as you.
Messed up the truck pretty bad, but the bikes were on the trailer and those were ok. I can only imagine a moose, I've seen more than enough deer damage for a lifetime and those hits can be horrible.
Hey, I never said that my parents were the brightest bulbs on the tree! 
