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Post Info TOPIC: God's responses to letters from dogs

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God's responses to letters from dogs

Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell

one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear Dog, That was my intention. If they did smell one another, all

human families would have a litter of 12 to 18 kids.


Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it

the same old story?

Dear Dog, No dear friend. Feel free to eat the couch.


Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar,

the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but

not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?

We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own

model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler


Dear Dog, You've never heard of Greyhound Bus, or seen the hood

ornament of a Mack truck?


Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human

hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear Dog, No. It is the human who is bad for not coming to see why it

is you are barking.


Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-


Dear Dog, No, that is a rumor the cats started. The tables have 3

inch legs.


Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good, or bad?

Dear Dog, It depends on how you treat your dog.


Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear Dog, Would you like some Italians with that?


Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands

to get in?

Dear Dog, Yes. (But don't tell the humans - it's the secret way in.)


Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand

signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,

electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do

humans understand?

Dear Dog, Not much.


Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have

been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever

hear back is the schnauzer across the street!

Dear dog, I have given every populated world its own dog equivalent.

The lead species of each needs your love and devotion.


Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to


Dear dog, No. Humans have their sports, mailmen are yours.


Dear God, Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because

we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets

thing again?

Dear dog, No. It's just because not all of you dogs live in Great



Dear God, May I have my testicles back?

Dear dog, Yes. I often wonder if I shouldn't have left them off most


The next time you feel like complaining.... Remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30% of people in this world.

The Omnipotent One

Status: Offline
Posts: 2696

And of course, dog is an anagram of God. What they should have asked was if cats are allowed in heaven.

Rick's Psycho Ward
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